Writing to connect to my soul
I honestly don’t know.
Working the graveyard shift
From 12 to 6
Uncommitted so I freestyle this shit.
A series of neurons send signals throughout my brain
Recalling what once was forgotten
In hopes of deciphering the untold truths of the mind.
Redefined but yet still flawed
Mighty but even the greatest has fall.
How do you make that desire for change remain?
I ask myself all the time.. I get super inspired and then it just fades away. Is it me? Do I not want it enough? Maybe I didn’t show enough effort? What is it that I’m not doing?
Right or Wrong. Good or bad.
I’ve recently been caught in a web and frankly I’m getting tired of fighting to break free. My first thought is to do what is right; That would be, call it what it is and get over it. My second thought; Forget everyone’s opinions on what I should do, if it feels good then it must be right.
Now my idea of what is right feels clouded with everyone’s opinion of what is right. Questions then erupt: ” Am I acting off the feelings of my own or the feelings of others, Do I only feel it’s wrong because someone else has pointed out the faults in it or is it my true feelings, Is the other persons opinion even creditable, Do I really want this, If I end it will I really feel that it was my decision or a decision from the result of constant criticism, Maybe I’m in denial.”
Now I’m not one to reject a persons opinion but I can say if affects my decision making, especially if it’s coming from a family member or a close friend. I can say that at this point of my life, I’m quick to end things when I feel there’s a ulterior motive or feeling aren’t being reciprocated and respect isn’t there. But this situation is weighing on my conscience.
“Love is a state of being, it has nothing to do with anyone else.
One is not in love, one is love.”
“Fear is nothing but the absence of love. If you love well,fear will disappear. If you deeply, fear is not found.”
The thing is… You can never go wrong with giving your all to someone you love. We say to love whole-heartedly but when we start to give the definition we begin to hold things back. The fear of being vulnerable and the fear that if you give your all to this person you won’t be reciprocated.
That’s where we go wrong. Loves doesn’t expect anything in return, love just loves. In the end, if it doesn’t work out, you know that you never held anything back. You know, that they weren’t ready for the kind of love you were bringing.