Conscience

Right or Wrong. Good or bad.

I’ve recently been caught in a web and frankly I’m getting tired of fighting to break free. My first thought is to do what is right; That would be, call it what it is and get over it. My second thought; Forget everyone’s opinions on what I should do, if it feels good then it must be right.
Now my idea of what is right feels clouded with everyone’s opinion of what is right. Questions then erupt: ” Am I acting off the feelings of my own or the feelings of others, Do I only feel it’s wrong because someone else has pointed out the faults in it or is it my true feelings, Is the other persons opinion even creditable, Do I really want this, If I end it will I really feel that it was my decision or a decision from the result of constant criticism, Maybe I’m in denial.”
Now I’m not one to reject a persons opinion but I can say if affects my decision making, especially if it’s coming from a family member or a close friend. I can say that at this point of my life, I’m quick to end things when I feel there’s a ulterior motive or feeling aren’t being reciprocated and respect isn’t there. But this situation is weighing on my conscience.

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Do we still exist?…

I’ve learnt in this year how precious life is. How unloved so much of us are. I’m learning how to love myself. My flaws are what makes me special, one of a kind. Everyday I wake up knowing I am part of something great. Everyday I wake up, wanting to uncover more and more of that great puzzle.
But they are days when world gets to me. Days when I feel that my love isn’t big enough to swallow all the evil. Days when I feel inadequate. But as I cry, I realize that the world needs more people who are free, alive and full of life. Those who simply love because they are love.
Those kind of people expect nothing but give everything. I would like to be amongst those individuals.

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